My Soul To Find: ABANDONED
by lastlife
Summary: Do you believe in soul-mates? A story about two souls linked forever by fate. How will Kuroro and Kurapika fare in their second chance at love?
1. Chapter 1

1

The Past: The End

Title: My Soul To Find

A/N: Yes, I should finish LCA before jumping onto another, but this plot won't leave me alone. Bear with me and my out-of-control muse. Reviews are much appreciated. No flames though.

Disclaimer: If I owned the characters and the setting, don't you think I'd make this a book? The site's called **** for crying out loud!

Pairing: Kuroro and Kurapika.

Warning: Harsh language and adult themes. AU, in a way.

Rating: T

* * *

The Past: The End

_"__I'm so…sorry, Kuroro."_

_"__Ssh, don't talk. You'll be fine, you'll be just fine."_

_"__No….This is how it's supposed to be…It's better this way."_

_"__Why didn't you dodge. I thought you'd-. Don't you want your revenge? Live at least for that."_

_"__I can't help….but hate you….but…I also….love you…...I can't kill you….Kuroro."_

_"__So you thought you'd make me kill _you_ instead! You _need_ to live Kurapika. _I_ need you to live!"_

_"__If only… it was…different. Maybe….we…could have been ...happy."_

_"__NO. You are NOT dying. Hang on, you can get through this."_

_"__Ku..ro..ro...please don't take my eyes. Promise me..."_

_"__Kurapika..."_

_"__PROMISE ME!"_

_"__I promise."_

_"__AAAH! Don't run so fast...Just hold me...like this...for a while."_

_"__No, you'll be fine. Please, hang on."_

_"__I wish...it was...different. That you hadn't killed my tribe...then I wouldn't have...wanted revenge. Then we- oh!"_

_"__Ssh, it's alright. Please, I'll get help. A doctor..."_

_"__It's okay. This is...how it's meant to be , Kuroro."_

_"__Don't die, Kurapika. I can't lose you. __**I love you**__."_

_"__Love you, too. Always will. Maybe...in another life...we could be...together...normal..."_

_"__No, Kurapika..."_

_"__Goodbye."_

_"__KURAPIKA!"_

* * *

_I will stay forever here with you_

_My love_

_The softly spoken words you gave me_

_Even in death our love goes on_

_And I can't love you, anymore than I do._

_(People die, but real love is forever...)_

* * *

A/N: Gyaaaah, don't kill me. I'm sorry I killed Kurapika! Don't worry; we'll see them again soon, in the upcoming chapters. The lyrics are from _Even In Death_ by Evanescence.


	2. Chapter 2

2

The Present: Lucian

Title: My Soul To Find

A/N: Yes, I should finish LCA before jumping onto another, but this plot won't leave me alone. Bear with me and my out-of-control muse. Reviews are much appreciated. No flames though.

Disclaimer: If I owned the characters and the setting, don't you think I'd make this a book? The site's called __ for crying out loud!

Pairing: Kuroro and Kurapika.

Warning: Harsh language and adult themes. AU, in a way.

Rating: T

* * *

The Present: Lucian

He seldom dreamed. Even on the rare occasions that he did, he never remembered them. At least not with such excruciating detail.

He tossed around on his bed, trying to make sense of the weird dream that he'd just woken up from. Tried to make sense of the way he'd felt, tried to make sense of the young blond with the beautiful, blue-green eyes. An image flashed in his mind, showing the same breathtaking, effeminate face with vivid red eyes instead of blue. _Who was he?_

After taking a deep breath and repeating over and over to himself that it was just a dream, he managed to fall into a fitful sleep, with the image of an angelic face in his mind and the words ' I love you.', spoken with fervor and desperation in his head.

When Lucian Carmichael woke up in the morning, all he could remember of the dream was a pair of startling aquamarine eyes and the words 'I love you'.

* * *

A/N: Yep, they are all reborn after a long time in a world much like our own. And it's happening where it all began: New York(Yorknew). Can you guess who Lucian is? Sorry this is so damn short!


	3. Chapter 3

3

The Present: Catalea

Title: My Soul To Find

A/N: Yes, I should finish LCA before jumping onto another, but this plot won't leave me alone. Bear with me and my out-of-control muse. Reviews are much appreciated. No flames though.

Disclaimer: If I owned the characters and the setting, don't you think I'd make this a book? The site's called __ for crying out loud!

Pairing: Kuroro and Kurapika.

Warning: Harsh language and adult themes. AU, in a way.

Rating: T

* * *

She woke to the sound of her alarm clock; the sound unusually high and irritating in her ears. Which was strange considering the fact she always woke to the sound of the same clock on _every day. _She turned it off and remained on her bed, despite being wide awake. The reason was that her mind was occupied by that dream. Or what little she could remember of it.

A name, both familiar and unfamiliar at the same time came to her lips. _Kuroro_. Who was Kuroro? It was a strange name, one she'd never heard before. Yet a part of her felt like she'd known it forever.

Aside from the enigmatic name, all she could remember of the dream was the sensation of a pair of strong hands holding her as she...as she did what? She could recall a pair of abysmal black eyes boring into her and shivered for some reason. One thing she knew for sure was that the dream was sad. So sad. Even remembering bits and pieces of it made her chest tighten.

With a shake o her head, Catalea Sage got out of her bed and proceeded to the bathroom of her luxurious apartment, trying to ignore the strange sensations the dream brought upon her.

* * *

A/N: Yes, Kurapika is a girl. Again. If it's any consolation, the one in the past was a boy like in the anime. A small sex change that occurred upon reincarnation. Well, as you've probably figured out, Lucian is Kuroro and Catalea is Kurapika. Oh, and I promise that the chapters will get bigger as the story progresses. As usual, I apologize for the super short chapter. These two are meant to introduce you to our 'new' main characters. Bear with me, guys.


	4. Chapter 4

4

The Past: A Strange Beginning

Title: My Soul To Find

A/N: Yes, I should finish LCA before jumping onto another, but this plot won't leave me alone. Bear with me and my out-of-control muse. Reviews are much appreciated. No flames though.

Disclaimer: If I owned the characters and the setting, don't you think I'd make this a book? The site's called __ for crying out loud!

Pairing: Kuroro and Kurapika.

Warning: Harsh language and adult themes. AU, in a way.

Rating: T

* * *

"What the hell are you doing, you bastard?" he asked vehemently, glaring with pure, unadulterated hatred at the raven haired man and his comrades, the other Spiders, behind him. The samurai's sword was drawn and he was looking at him with an expression that made it crystal clear the he'd love to kill him; grotesquely.

His attention was soon brought back to the raven-haired man as he spoke up.

"Well," he said "it would be a waste to kill you, Kuruta. You are obviously full of potential. So,-" the man leaned down and gripped his chin, making him struggle fruitlessly against his bonds, " -I want you to assist the Ryodan."

A string of harsh profanities threatened to burst out of his mouth and he fought for control.

"_Never._" He said, looking the Spider-head in the eyes. A single, simple word. Yet, it said so much.

Unfazed, the man grinned, still leaning down, and obsidian eyes locked with aquamarine ones.

"Oh, but you will help us." He purred "If you want your friends to live, that is. And you wouldn't dare lose them, right, Kuruta?"

The images of a trio of teenagers flashed in his mind , bringing with them a wave of crippling despair.

* * *

A/N: Apologies for another short chapter. They'll get bigger, I promise. Anywho, I think I'll insert snippets of Kuroro's and Kurapika's past in between Lucian's and Catalea's story. I know some of you think that I should have combined 2nd and 3rd chapters. I thought of that for a while too, but it didn't feel right. Well, what's done is done. Enjoy! And don't forget to review.

MARYLOVER: Well, probably. But the main focus is on these two.


	5. Chapter 5

5

The Present : Destined

Title: My Soul To Find

A/N: Yes, I should finish LCA before jumping onto another, but this plot won't leave me alone. Bear with me and my out-of-control muse. Reviews are much appreciated. No flames though.

Disclaimer: If I owned the characters and the setting, don't you think I'd make this a book? The site's called **** for crying out loud!

Pairing: Kuroro and Kurapika.

Warning: Harsh language and adult themes. AU, in a way.

Rating: T

* * *

This time, it wasn't the ringing of an alarm clock that roused her. Instead, she fell from her bed and onto the floor in an ungraceful heap. Damn dreams! Cat picked herself up with a grimace and rubbed her eyes.

Great! Another uber weird dream. The fact that she could only remember bits and pieces of it, though she was sure that the dream itself had been eerily clear, only added to the weirdness. But she could recall the faces of 4 people. Four _familiar_ people.

Her sister, Kathryn- Ryn - was a part of the dream. Cat could vaguely remember her blue mane and ice-princess looks. Then there was Samuel Lynch, her best friend. She wasn't sure how those two could appear together even in a dream. Ryn couldn't stand the jolly, sandy haired young man. Sam's little brother, Jake had also appeared. An image of the innocent, cheerful, hyper-active boy with his spiky black hair flashed in her mind and she smiled to herself. The kid was adorable. Last, but not least, was her very own father, Luther. Although, he'd seemed younger in her dream. The rest of the details were hazy. Images of these four were all she had.

But then again...she had this eerie feeling that she was forgetting something- someone –vital. An image of abysmal black eyes appeared in her mind's eye. There was something about those eyes...

Cat shook her head and took a deep breath. Clearly, she was losing it. In the past twenty years of her life, she'd never obsessed over a mere dream. Hell, her dreams were generally stupid and full of crap, like dreams usually were. So what was so different about these ones?

Her mind must be screwing with her. Probably because she was bored half to death. It was Sunday. No job hunting, so she was simply relaxing at home. But since her afternoon nap had been disrupted, she had nothing whatsoever to occupy her mind. She felt like setting fire to the house just for entertainment's sake. Damn, this was crazy!

She had to go out. Not to a mall, or a restaurant. Those weren't of much interest to her. She needed to go to bookstore. She was an ardent reader.

"Ah." She sighed out loud. "Everything will be better with some books." Or so she hoped.

. . . . .

Lucian absently fingered the birthmark on his forehead as he lounged in the comfortable chair. His bookstore, named Ysabeau, was unusually empty. He had a pretty good collection of books and the store had a classy look, so a lack of customers was generally not a problem. Today, though, was an exception.

Usually, he'd appreciate the solitude, but right now, being alone pulled his mind to a certain, blurry dream and a disconcertingly clear image of a pair of aquamarine eyes. Eyes that he was sure he'd never seen before. It would be impossible to forget those radiant orbs.

He heard the front door opening (finally!) and arranged his bangs so that they covered his birthmark. An inverted cross smack in the middle of one's forehead was not exactly inconspicuous. He had gone to great lengths to obscure it while he was a thief.

Plastering a disarming, but fake smile on his face, Lucian looked up at his customer, _and froze_.

* * *

A/N: It's not big, but it is a bit larger than the previous chapters. I did say they'd get bigger (this note is here jussssst for you, Toby). I'd like to say a big THANK YOU to all those who've been kind enough to review. You guys keep me going! Well, anyways, can you guess who the 'customer' is? It's pretty obvious. Now, to reply to these wonderful reviews,

1: October Lynx

Thank you. Thank you. As for the size, just be patient. J

2: sayurijaina0839

I'm glad you like this story.


	6. Chapter 6

6

The Present : Meant to be

Title: My Soul To Find

A/N: Yes, I should finish LCA before jumping onto another, but this plot won't leave me alone. Bear with me and my out-of-control muse. Reviews are much appreciated. No flames though.

Disclaimer: If I owned the characters and the setting, don't you think I'd make this a book? The site's called for crying out loud!

Pairing: Kuroro and Kurapika.

Rating: T

* * *

How could someone look so heart wrenchingly familiar and absolutely alien at the same time? Lucian knew that he had never seen this woman before, so then, why did it feel as if he had been waiting for her for a long, long time? He did not know. Furthermore, he did not care! He could barely think against the onslaught of emotions that assailed him at the sight of the blonde angel before him.

With beautiful, golden hair that tantalizingly brushed her shoulders, a smooth expanse of creamy skin and a delicate build, she looked every bit like an angel. And those eyes...he knew those eyes. They were the sight that haunted his dreams as well as his waking hours. Then, there was the phantom memory of gazing into those aquamarine orbs countless times before! A name escaped his lips in a faint whisper,

"Kurapika."

Cat never frequented a particular bookstore. She liked to explore. And her newest find seemed rather promising.

"Ysabeau, huh? Wonder what that means?" she wondered out loud as he stepped into the store.

Her eyes swept through the store before settling on the man behind the counter. A tiny part of her mind noted that he was extremely handsome. The rest of it was numb with pure shock.

The blurry image of the man in her dreams suddenly became crystal clear. One again, she found herself staring into a pair of night-colored eyes, rooted to the spot. Emotions that she had no reason to feel just then washed over her.

_'Kuroro...'_

_'Love you, too. Always will.'_

_'What the hell are you doing, you bastard?'_

Bits and pieces of sentences and images passed through her mind as she stared at him staring at her.

"Kuroro." Her lips formed the word out of her own volition and she instantly snapped out of her trance. She saw the man mutter something, but she couldn't catch it.

For a while, the two just held their positions, unaware of time, unaware of anything but each other and the emotions raging inside them. Lucian was the first to recover. Instead of welcoming her into the bookstore without getting up as he usually did, he stood up and slowly approached the blonde.

"Welcome to Ysabeau, ma'am. May I... know your name?"

Cat, who was still far too shocked, failed to find anything wrong or strange about the question and stammered out her name,

"Ca- Catalea. Catalea Sage. Most just call me Lea though, or Cat. Whichever you prefer."

She clamped her mouth shut as she realized she was babbling. He didn't seem to notice, though. Wait a sec, did she just offer her nickname(s) to a man she'd just met? And _no one_ called her Cat except her mother and herself!

Her internal babbling stopped short as he smiled (why did he look a bit dazed?) and said,

"It is a beautiful name...Cat. My name is Lucian Carmichael."

Lucian. _Lucian_. Something about that name tugged at her memory. But it wasn't quite right. Not Lucian. There was a difference, a variation. But what...!?

Pushing aside the erratic thoughts in her head, she smiled, well beamed, at the dark-haired man. "It is great to meet you, Lucian." She couldn't help but be pleased by the fact that he had chosen Cat. She liked that one over Lea. Of course, her pleasure made no sense, but what the hell, _nothing_ in the past few minutes made sense.

Lucian found it hard to tear his gaze away from the girl. Catalea. Cat. He liked the name. Hell, he liked the _girl_. The reason for it was a mystery though. Somehow, he couldn't bring himself to care.

"What kind of books would you like, Cat?" he asked, gesturing at the bookshelves surrounding them, and trying not to stare at her like a besotted fool. _Trying_ being the operative word. "I've got a pretty good collection."

She edged forward, presumably to check out the books. As she passed him, their hands brushed lightly. But the simple sensation shot electric sensations through his body and he heard her gasp. Then, his world dissolved.

* * *

A/N: Slightly bigger than the other chapters. I know it's still short, sorry. I should warn you that both Lucian and Catalea will behave a little differently from Kuroro and Kurapika. Though Lucian has had a rough past, nothing really compares to Meteor City, don't you think? As for Cat, she lacks the blind rage and hatred that fueled most of Kurapika's actions. Don't worry, their basic characteristics will be the same (Well, I'll try my best 3 ). And by the way people, would it _kill_ you to review? There is a humongous difference between the figures on my hit-list and the number of reviews. I'm drowning in my misery.*sob*

Guys, I am sorry but updates will be slow from now on. School's gonna start soon and I am off to boarding where I cannot use the net or the computer. Yep, my life sucks!


	7. Chapter 7

7

The Past : Fever

Title: My Soul To Find

A/N: Yes, I should finish LCA before jumping onto another, but this plot won't leave me alone. Bear with me and my out-of-control muse. Reviews are much appreciated. No flames though.

Disclaimer: If I owned the characters and the setting, don't you think I'd make this a book? The site's called for crying out loud!

Pairing: Kuroro and Kurapika.

Rating: T

* * *

He gazed at the young blonde lying on the bed, trembling slightly as a result of the fever. The cold compress on his forehead didn't seem to help much.

He went about changing it and afterwards, he settled back on the chair he had dragged to the Kuruta's bedside. _Why_ was he nursing the boy? Come to think of it, why was he even keeping the kid alive? He wasn't the first to and exact revenge on the Ryodan. True, he was the one who had made most progress, but still, that only made him a bigger threat.

So then, why did the thought of killing, or even hurting, the boy feel so...repulsive? It made no sense! And he was not used to his actions confusing him.

Right then, Kurapika let out a low groan and muttered something. It sounded like 'Mother'. His expression seemed pained.

Okay, so the boy was delirious. Without knowing just what he was doing or why, he reached out a hand and laid it on the blond's cheek and whispered, " It's okay. You'll be fine. You are safe." He whispered the words in the most soothing tone he could manage.

To his absolute surprise, the boy quickly relaxed and his breathing became more even. He stared at his hand, still resting on the boy's cheek and marveled at his actions. _Why on earth did he just do that? And why the boy calm down so fast?_

He relaxed back into his chair and turned his attention to the book he was currently reading. All the while, his other hand remained on the sick Kuruta's cheek.

He stayed that way until Kurapika woke up.

* * *

A/N: Yo. I know that the whole fever-nursing business is quite common in KuroPika fics, but I didn't have any other ideas. Evidently, our main characters will have these memory flashes even while they are awake(Stranger things have happened!). And you should keep in mind that the images they see aren't as _detailed_ as the versions I write. That is for your sakes as well as mine. Well, read away...and don't forget to review.

sayurijaina0839, MARYLOVER, October Lynx and weema; Thank you for your support.


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